I have heard the mermaids singing each to each...

fightyourdragon @ 2009-08-30T17:42:00

2009-08-30T22:45:01Z

So I pretty much never use this anymore. I haven't written fanfic in a long time, maybe someday inspiration will strike again! Just posting in case for random reasons people click on the journal from a comment, I'm back reading lots so I want to comment on all the amazing authors out there!

Fandom: The Real Philosopher's Stone

2007-07-25T13:44:07Z

I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Saturday by 4:30 pm, and I have been processing since then. Overall, I loved it. I've read many reviews and I don't think I can do better, so mainly I feel like discussing fandom. Currently, the fandom close to my heart is the new and relatively small fandom for “Blades of Glory,” and it has the most wonderful fans in the world. So that is my little plug, come say hi to us at blades_of_glory.

It has taken a while to come to terms with the close of the source material for something that has been such a huge part of my life, in such a wonderful way. Honestly, my relationship with the HP fandom has been that of donning an invisibility cloak and apparating into various journals and story sites, then reluctantly taking off the cloak and re-entering the 'real world.' Which is a nice way of saying I am a lurker, and I haven't contributed any fic of my own...but my life has been much happier for reading it. I don't know anyone in my real life that appreciates fandom, or reads fanfic...which is sad. I feel a bit like a member of a secret society, wondering if the people I see on the street are really fanfic readers or writers as well. I have rather slid out of the HP community, but with the final book out I feel a pull to re-enter and discover what amazing new worlds fanfic writers will create.

Really, I think I would have enjoyed DH more if I was strictly a fan of the books and not also of the amazing worlds stemming from them. Unfortunately for JKR, too many amazing fic writers reached the end before she did and I’m already enthralled with several dozen alternate endings. But it’s a mild disappointment, because I love fanfic too much to be upset with it preventing an unfettered enjoyment of cannon.

It seems that the HP fandom is split into camps at this point. Some people are angry that their particular ships were invalidated by the book, to the point of cursing JKR. Some are upset that the novel is so 'heteronormative,' and doesn't acknowledge alternate lifestyles. Some are displeased with the way not all of the loose ends were tied up, and the Remus/Tonks issue that okay, really did seem to come out of nowhere and slip headlong into nothingness. And other people are completely happy with how things turned out, but that seems to be in the minority. And each camp makes such good points it’s difficult not to agree; I feel surrounded by many Big Brothers. Although love cannon or hate it, the fact that this many people actually give a shit about one thing is amazing, so yay Jo!

It surprises me, really, how members of this fandom seem to take up a crusade banner for their particular ship or belief, and defend it like they are on some sort of holy war. It makes me want to promote the concept from "Dogma," that it is better to have ideas than beliefs because beliefs are so difficult to change and people will kill or die for them, whereas ideas can change more freely. Because, aren't we all together in this thing, fandom? It's a whole world of possibilities and no one has the 'right' slash pairing since this is all fiction based on fiction, and it seems like we should all be supporting each other in every imaginative foray into the many possibilities of fanfic. Whoever we ship, whether we are readers or writers, we are all basically saying the same thing: this is my happiness. This is a way to read or write my version of a perfect world, my bit of heaven on earth…whether it be fluffy, angsty, humorous, dark, het, or slash. And that is what I love so much about fandom.

And now, everyone can go off and write his or her own versions of how the story could have gone, and it will be exciting and new and there are a thousand thousand stories waiting to be discovered, and whatever you think about cannon I think its capacity for opening doors to new worlds and stories is amazing. Fandom is a force that unites people across age, gender, race, geographic location, sexual orientation, religion, etc. And that, my friends, is pretty freaking amazing.

fightyourdragon @ 2007-07-12T11:29:00

2007-07-12T16:38:22Z

In recent news, I am 99% sure going to move into Minneapolis on August 1st! I'm all excited, it'll be my first apartment alone. It's just a studio, but I think it's cute. Mostly I just love the Uptown neighborhood, there are lots of coffee shops and book stores and theaters. Also, I interviewed for a job in a day spa about 5 blocks away so that would be wonderful!! To celebrate, I have purchased a new Brian Andreas print to put up in my new place, because I love his work. It says,

Is willing to accept that she creates her own reality,
except for the parts where she can't help
but wonder what the hell she was thinking.

It goes well with my other print that reads,

Leaning out as far as she can,
hoping she'll fall soon so
she can stop worrying about
whether it will happen or not.

I think that about sums up my life, really! So, things are looking up- now I just need to get a better job so I can afford my life!

fightyourdragon @ 2007-07-05T14:28:00

2007-07-05T19:53:50Z

Okay, so I have determined that I really need to write in this more often. But since not a lot seems to be going on in my life, we'll see how that goes! It may end up as a rumination on whatever is bumping around in my mind at the time. Mostly, my life right now involves me trying to figure out what I'm going to do with it. I have a license to teach k-12 Spanish, and an English writing major, and an aesthetician license...and I'm working at a group home. I have this mental block going on right now about effecting any change in my life, but I seem to be at the rock-bottom move-your-ass point since my current job doesn't give me enough money to effectively life on. Possibly, I should go back to part-time exotic dancing. I sort of miss it anyway, I had fun with it. But now the issue is I know people here, and I knew no one in Texas. But, I am looking for an esthetician job now, and I'm on my way soon to go look at a studio apt. in Uptown Minneapolis which would be a really cool area to live in. So, hopefully one of these years I figure out what I want to do with my life. Besides work at a book store at some point, and a coffee shop as well. It seems like those would be awesome jobs to have, since I love books and people watching.

Possibly, I need more goals in life! Well, I do plan to walk the pilgrimage route across the top of Spain, too. I recently read a book my crazy, world-traveling aunt sent me. It talks about vocation and it says that, "Vocation at it's deepest level is, 'This is something I can't not do, for reasons I'm unable to explain to anyone else and don't fully understand myself but are nonetheless compelling.'" I think that sums up my thoughts on why I never seem to settle on one career, combined with my current favorite Brian Andreas print. It reads, "I don't know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me. And we sat there in silence and I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to and this is the thing we all fight and if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again. And I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said."

So, there are my daily ramblings. And, because I'm ridiculous and don't put this stuff into my own journal, here is my last Blades of Glory fic. I am so in love with this fandom! Also, I need to kick my muses into gear because I'm having issues with writing my latest story.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Chazz stared at Jimmy, his features wavering between horror and interest.

“Assless. Crotchless. Leather. Pants.” Jimmy intoned slowly, enunciating each word as his blue eyes flashed dangerously. “You promised you’d do anything I wanted. Anything. A fantasy for a fantasy, that was the deal.”

“Yeah, but that was before I knew you had such a freaky imagination! And I thought I was the kinky one in this relationship.”

“Maybe I just let you think that ‘cuz it makes you happy” Jimmy said lightly, winking at Chazz then flouncing off into their bedroom. “I’ll just go get ready.”

“Okay, I’ll just…stand here in shock, as usual.” He wondered if Jimmy was serious. He couldn’t be…could he? Chazz was pretty sure he did the seducing, and he usually started things. After Jimmy gave him one of those looks, or touched him, or did something to attract his attention. A rare light bulb illuminated in Chazz’s head, and he sat down hard on the arm of the couch. “That little shit.”

When Jimmy emerged from the bedroom, Chazz went from zero to ‘in the mood’ in about .4 seconds. The blond absolutely radiated innocence, and Chazz wanted to claim him for his own all over again. Jimmy was wearing powder blue sandals and khaki shorts that ended well above his knees, with a light blue v-neck t-shirt and a koala bear backpack slung over one shoulder. Shiny pink lip-gloss completed the ensemble. “So, are you ready?” Jimmy asked brightly, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Wow, you look…wow. Chazz looked Jimmy up and down appreciatively, eliciting an adorable blush.

“Thanks. You’d just better hope no one tries to pick me up before you do,” he teased, kissing Chazz playfully then leading him out of the apartment.

They arrived at the local 4th of July carnival just as darkness was falling, and Jimmy’s face lit up brighter than the myriad of glowing colors as he bounced excitedly in his seat. Chazz couldn’t help but smile as he watched. Jimmy was like no one he had ever met, capable of both childlike excitement and consuming passion. He felt a shiver of desire, knowing he was about to experience both.

“Okay, give me a few minutes then come find me.” Jimmy leaned towards Chazz and stopped an inch from his lips. “Show me what it’s like to be chased by Chazz Michael Michaels, sex god.”

Chazz moved to kiss him, but Jimmy backed away and slipped out the door with a smirk. Chazz reflected that staring after the blond was rather getting to be a habit- not that he was complaining. He gave Jimmy a head start, then tracked down the fun house and bribed its ticket handler; a necessary step for Jimmy’s strange fantasy. Then, he turned his attention to locating his prey. He bought some cotton candy and began prowling amongst the rides, working his way towards the midway where he suspected Jimmy would go. He finally spotted his target standing by a ring-toss game, watching an attractive young man try to win a prize for his girlfriend. Chazz considered what he would do if he really didn’t know Jimmy and was simply trying to seduce a beautiful stranger.

He sidled up to Jimmy, who glanced over at him then took a small step away. Chazz looked over at the couple and said in a half-whisper, “He’s kinda hot, isn’t he?”

Jimmy looked over at him quickly, his eyes wide and nervous. “What? Who? I wasn’t…” He started to move away but Chazz shot out a hand and placed it in front of him on the counter, blocking his escape.

“Not as hot as you though,” Chazz said in a low voice.

Jimmy froze, then his eyes met Chazz’s and he looked so truly frightened that Chazz was almost tempted to end the game. “Look, I don’t know what you want but I’m not…I mean…could you just move your hand, please?”

“I could. I could do that. But see, I think if I did I would regret it for the rest of my life.” He stepped back but kept his hand on the counter. “I’m Chazz. What’s your name? Or should I just call you the most beautiful word I know?”

“Ah, it’s Ji…Jimmy,” he stammered, looking a bit flattered but also on the verge of bolting.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I think I could make sure it’s a pleasure for you to meet me, too.” Chazz fixed Jimmy with a seductive smile. “I’d shake your hand but I don’t seem to have a free one.” He held up his stick of cotton candy to demonstrate. “So, I guess I’ll just have to do this.” He leaned in slowly and kissed Jimmy on the side of his mouth. Jimmy’s eyes fluttered shut involuntarily and his lips parted in a surprised little breath, and Chazz had to remind himself that he couldn’t just shove Jimmy up against the dunk tank and kiss him like he wanted to, because that would ruin the fantasy. “How about this,” Chazz purred. “I move my hand, and you don’t run away. I share my cotton candy with you, and if you still want to walk away when it’s gone, I’ll let you.”

“Well…” Jimmy bit his lip and studied Chazz. “Okay, I guess. But on one condition.”

“Anything you ask,” Chazz promised.

“You have to win me a stuffed animal,” Jimmy said with a shy smile.

“If you want, I’ll win you a hundred stuffed animals” Chazz replied. He removed his hand from the counter and placed it in Jimmy’s, lacing their fingers together. He started walking towards a game where you had to knock over milk bottles with a baseball and Jimmy came along, giving him curious glances. “So, what is a gorgeous man like yourself doing all alone tonight?” Chazz asked.

“Oh, well, ah…I just thought it would be a good place to pick up chicks, you know…or, whoever,” he added quickly.

Chazz paused next to a popcorn stand and leaned over to whisper in Jimmy’s ear. “What were you planning on doing, once you found this someone?”

“Um, I was gonna…maybe…” Jimmy looked like he was trying to think fast, and he was blushing.

Chazz came to his rescue by continuing to whisper into the blond’s ear, nipping at it lightly between suggestions and delighting in the way it made Jimmy shiver. “Maybe kiss them on the tilt-a-whirl? Slide your hand into their pants on the ferris wheel? Sneak behind the fun house and get a blow job?”

“Yeah…” Jimmy breathed, leaning into Chazz’s touch.

“Well, I guess I’d better win you that stuffed animal, huh?” Chazz backed off then pulled a flustered Jimmy with him towards his destination. He stopped in front of the milk bottle booth and paid the operator. “Here, hold this for me.” He moved to hand Jimmy the cotton candy, then stopped. “Oh, I said I’d share with you and I haven’t yet. I’d better fix that.” He pulled off a small piece then brought it up to Jimmy’s lips, and the blond was so surprised he licked it off of Chazz’s fingers without thinking. “Okay, now you can hold it” Chazz said with a smile, ignoring the gob smacked look on Jimmy’s face.

It took Chazz a few tries, but before long he won a large, purple, stuffed bunny for Jimmy. He would normally have been more embarrassed to be seen with it, but it was worth anything to see the way Jimmy’s eyes glowed as Chazz handed it to him.

“Thanks, Chazz! No one’s ever done anything like that for me before,” Jimmy said as he cuddled the bunny.

“My guess is that no one has ever done anything like a lot of things I could do for you,” Chazz responded suggestively. “So…ferris wheel?”

They had to buckle the bunny in next to Jimmy so it wouldn’t fall out of the seat, but that only meant Jimmy had to slide closer to Chazz so that was fine. For the first few revolutions Chazz simply fed Jimmy bits of cotton candy, shivering whenever that sugar-sweet tongue touched his fingers. Then Jimmy got brave and fed Chazz a few bites, his breath hitching as Chazz sucked off the sugary taste.

“You have sugar on your lips,” Chazz pointed out, tracing the outline of Jimmy’s lips with a finger.

“I guess I do,” Jimmy replied softly. “Maybe you should do something about that” he suggested, his voice wavering.

“Whatever you want,” Chazz answered. He raised a hand to cup the back of Jimmy’s neck then leaned in oh so slowly, allowing his breath to ghost across Jimmy’s lips for a few seconds before kissing him gently. He flicked out his tongue and ran it across Jimmy’s lower lip, then licked lightly at his upper lip until Jimmy opened his mouth for him a tiny bit. Chazz coaxed it open further and then his tongue was sliding against Jimmy’s and it felt for all the world like their first kiss all over again. Jimmy tasted like cotton candy and home, and Chazz had never been more in love. They came together slowly, with tentative hands pulling each other in close and deepening kisses. It was a slow exploration; there was nothing fierce, although running beneath the slow seduction was the promise of passion to come.

When the ride ended, they got off in silence and Chazz led them over to a bench in a relatively quiet area of the carnival, near the merry-go-round. Chazz threw the empty cotton-candy stick into a nearby garbage can. “So, do you want to walk away?” he asked Jimmy as he ran his fingers through the blond’s curls.

“No, I don’t. I want…I want to ride the carousel,” he said. “Come with me?”

“As if I could do anything else. You’re stuck with me now. I’ll probably try to follow you home and everything,” Chazz teased.

“But you don’t even know me,” Jimmy replied, cocking his head.

“Oh, but I do. You’re innocent but you don’t want to be. You like romantic movies and wish real life turned out that way. You like to be taken care of, and more than anything you want someone to fall in love with you.” He kissed Jimmy lightly. “How am I doing?”

“Disturbingly well, actually.”

“Good. Because tonight, I’m going to be everything you’ve ever wanted. Maybe I can’t promise you forever, but I can promise you this night. Will you let me do that?”

“I’d like that very much, yes,” Jimmy said, his eyes shining.

“Okay. So, lets go ride that carousel.” Chazz took Jimmy’s hand and lifted him up onto a unicorn once they were on the ride, and instead of getting onto his own creature he stood next to Jimmy and watched him smile and laugh as they circled together into nowhere.

When they got off Jimmy was glowing, and Chazz had to lead him back over to the bench and kiss him for a while because he was just so addictive. Their kisses became less tentative and more demanding, and before long Jimmy was moaning into Chazz’s mouth and trying to crawl into his lap, so Chazz decided it was time for the final part of the fantasy.

“I have an idea,” Chazz whispered into Jimmy’s mouth. “Do you want to do something crazy? It involves me getting you naked.”

“Then yes. Whatever it is, definitely yes,” Jimmy agreed.

“Okay, come with me.” Chazz stood and began weaving his way through the crowd, never letting go of Jimmy’s hand. He made his way to the fun house, then walked up to the operator and whispered something into his ear. The man smiled and gave Jimmy an appraising look, then winked at Chazz and took the proffered $100 bill. Jimmy watched in confusion as the man walked into his booth and grabbed a sign, then roped off the entrance and placed the sign which read, “closed for maintenance,” in front of it.

After about five minutes the man nodded to Chazz and waved him forward. Chazz grinned at Jimmy, left the bunny with the operator, then led Jimmy over the rope and through the spinning tunnel entrance. He stopped when they reached a glass maze.

“What are we doing?” Jimmy asked, uncertainly.

“We’re having fun in the fun house,” Chazz responded, giving Jimmy a suggestive look. “I want you. I want to kiss every inch of your body, and feel your hard cock in my mouth…and I know you want it, too.” He slipped a hand between them to rub against Jimmy’s crotch, and the blond let out an involuntary moan.

“Yeah, but…how is this gonna work?” Jimmy looked up at Chazz with an unaccountably sexy aspect of desire and nerves.

“Well, I’m gonna give you a head start, then I’m going to come catch you. If you did something like, say…leave me a trail of clothes to follow, it would be more interesting.”

“How do I know you aren’t just gonna leave me here without my clothes?” Jimmy asked, uneasily.

“Because if I did that, then I wouldn’t get to touch every bit of that delicious soft skin,” Chazz purred into his ear, sliding a hand under Jimmy’s shirt and up to brush across a nipple.

Jimmy shivered and leaned into the touch. “Oh, well I guess that’s a good reason, then. So, I’ll just start…catch me if you can,” he lilted as he headed into the maze.

Chazz gave him a few seconds, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t see him anyways so he figured it would be an easy chase. It had obviously been a while since he’d been in a fun house, and he quickly realized he was mistaken on that count. Oh, he could see Jimmy all right, but he couldn’t seem to get to him. He watched as Jimmy slowly pulled off his shirt and dropped it onto the floor, then blew him a kiss and darted away. Chazz decided that two could play at that game, so he took his shirt off as well. Once Jimmy stopped to look at him, Chazz began to run his hands over his chest slowly, pinching his nipples and arching his neck in pleasure. Jimmy’s mouth dropped open a fraction, but he quickly retaliated.

Chazz ran straight into a pane of glass as Jimmy stood a few feet in front of him, slowly unzipping his khaki shorts. The blond laughed and slid the shorts slowly off of his hips, then ran a hand up the obvious erection in his blue briefs, watching Chazz from beneath his long lashes. Chazz growled and kicked off his shoes, then undid his own belt and fly and gyrated his hips as he slid out of his black jeans. He felt a rush of desire as Jimmy licked his cotton-candy lips before scampering off around an invisible corner. Chazz finally found his way to Jimmy’s shorts, and found his backpack a short while later but the little minx was still evading him.

Chazz managed to get himself a few feet away from Jimmy again, and decided maybe it would be easier to make the blond come to him instead. So, he fixed Jimmy with his best ‘come hither’ look and pulled off his boxers, leaving himself completely naked. Jimmy’s eyes widened as he watched Chazz wrap a hand firmly around his dark erection and begin to twist his hand up and down, slowly. Chazz groaned at the contact, keeping his eyes locked with Jimmy’s. Jimmy stood as if frozen for a few seconds and then he was moving, darting around corners and through hallways and then he was pushing Chazz up against the glass and kissing him frantically.

Chazz hissed and slid his hands down to the band of Jimmy’s briefs, but Jimmy’s hands suddenly covered his own, stopping him. “What are you?…”

“Not here. Come with me…if you’re giving me everything I want tonight, and maybe only tonight, I want to be sure I remember it.” He picked up the clothes that had dropped to the floor, then took Chazz’s hand and led him through the maze. Chazz wondered briefly, exactly how many carnivals he had been to in order to navigate it so easily. They left the maze and entered a hall of mirrors, and Jimmy stopped in front of the one normal mirror on the end. “Here. I want to watch us,” he said, blushing.

“Okay. You want to watch us doing what?” Chazz asked, running his hands down Jimmy’s chest.

“I want…I want to watch you suck me, and then…I want to watch you fuck me…please.”

“God yes,” Chazz breathed. “Don’t worry, angel, I’m gonna make this so good for you.” He tipped Jimmy’s head up and kissed him slowly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s back and pulling him close. He walked them backwards until Jimmy’s back was resting against the hallway wall, and then kissed Jimmy until he could feel his ‘new’ lover relax and surrender completely to his care. Only then did he slide his way slowly down Jimmy’s lightly muscled chest to kneel in front of him, and gently tug the briefs down and onto the floor. “You’re so beautiful,” Chazz said as he wrapped a hand around Jimmy’s hot length. Jimmy threw his head back and opened his mouth in a nearly silent cry of pleasure. “Look at me,” Chazz urged. “You said you wanted to watch.”

“I did, but I’m afraid I won’t last long if I do,” Jimmy said in a tense voice as he lowered his eyes to meet Chazz’s.

“No, you’re not. But I’m gonna make you cum more than once for me, I promise.” Chazz leaned forward and flicked his tongue across the darkening head of Jimmy’s cock and smiled he earned a small whimper. Then he dipped his head and took Jimmy in as far as he could in one rapid movement. Jimmy let out a strangled sort of scream then dug his nails into Chazz’s shoulders, and at that point Chazz was finally grateful for the crazy funhouse music. Chazz hummed and moved one hand up to gently massage Jimmy’s balls as his other slid up and down in time with his mouth. Gods he loved this. LOVED it. The way Jimmy writhed and bucked his hips, the feel of nails clawing at his skin and hair, and those sounds. No one made prettier noises then Jimmy, and Chazz knew just what to do to create each pitch. After a few perfectly timed twists and swivels of his neck, Chazz cold feel Jimmy begin to tense up in preparation for his release.

“Oh, that’s…I’m gonna cum...”

Chazz merely sucked harder in response, then Jimmy’s knees buckled and Chazz had to grab the blond’s hips and hold him against the wall as he rode out his orgasm. Chazz swallowed quickly, and then stood and wrapped his arms around Jimmy’s trembling body as he whispered praise into his hear. “It’s okay beautiful, I’ve got you. You were perfect, that was amazing…” Chazz held Jimmy until he could feel that he was at least standing on his own.

“Fuck, that was…”

“Nothing compared to what comes next,” Chazz finished for him. “I’m not done with you yet.” He kissed Jimmy slowly, and then pulled him forward. “I still have to fuck you, remember?”

“Oh god, I don’t know if I could survive that,” Jimmy responded, his eyes darkening.

“Well if you don’t, it’ll be a hell of a way to go,” Chazz pointed out. “So you wanna watch, do you? Then you’d better stand here with your hands against the mirror for support.” He stepped out from in front of Jimmy and guided him into position. “Have you ever done this before?”

“Well…no.” Jimmy looked away, feigning embarrassment.

Chazz reached over and turned Jimmy’s face back towards himself, then kissed him again reassuringly. “Don’t be scared, I won’t enter you until you’re begging for it. I promise. But I want you to cum again when I do it, so I’m gonna have to get you good and ready. Just relax and let me take care of you.” Chazz stepped away for a second to grab his pants and pull a condom and a small tube of cherry lube from his pocket. Jimmy eyed the items nervously. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna love this.” Chazz stepped behind Jimmy and began kissing the back of his pale neck and shoulders as he ran his hands lightly down Jimmy’s sides and thighs, then back up over hiss ass and back.

Jimmy shivered and relaxed into Chazz’s touch. “Mmmmh, that feels nice.”

“Told you so. Now lean forward a bit.” Chazz kissed a trail down Jimmy’s spine and slid his hands down to massage that gorgeous, firm ass.

Jimmy tensed momentarily as Chazz knelt down behind him. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh, I’m making you feel good,” was Chazz’s only response. He twisted the top off of the lube and squeezed some onto his fingers. He ran the coated fingers up from behind Jimmy’s balls and between his ass cheeks, delighting in the way Jimmy seemed to fight between pressing back and moving away. Chazz slid his right hand around Jimmy’s hip and began to run his fingers over Jimmy’s quiescent length. At the same time, he ran the fingers of his left hand over Jimmy’s right entrance, teasingly.

“Oh, that’s…that feels really good,” Jimmy breathed.

Chazz continued his teasing touch for a few minutes until he felt Jimmy’s arousal begin to stir. Then he used his hands to gently spread Jimmy’s ass and ran his tongue over the same spot his fingers had been. Jimmy’s hips jerked and he cried out in surprise. “Shhh, it’s okay, just let me,” Chazz said gently. When he resumed his ministrations Jimmy didn’t make any more moves to resist. Chazz used his tongue until Jimmy was hard again, and only then did he slide one lubed finger inside. Jimmy tensed for a second, but Chazz wrapped his free hand around Jimmy’s erection and began stroking it slowly, and felt Jimmy relax almost instantly. Chazz crooked the finger inside of Jimmy, and the blond let out a low howl of pleasure. “That’s right, I told you I’d make it good for you.” Chazz removed his finger and replaced it with his tongue, and Jimmy began to whimper incoherently. Taking that as a request for more, Chazz gently slipped two fingers inside of Jimmy and began twisting and scissoring them slowly. Within seconds Jimmy was rocking his hips back and pleading for more. Chazz stood up and added a third finger, and was unable to keep from rubbing his own aching erection against Jimmy’s ass.

“I’m ready now, please…please just let me feel you, I want you,” Jimmy begged.

“Anything you want, beautiful,” Chazz responded as he quickly rolled on the condom. He guided the head of his cock to Jimmy’s entrance and pressed in slowly, then stopped until he felt Jimmy relax around him. Suppressing the urge to thrust away blindly, Chazz placed his hands on Jimmy’s shoulders then leaned down to kiss the back of Jimmy’s neck as he slid into his lover completely. “You feel so good, Jimmy, so hot. You’re perfect,” Chazz panted as he held still, waiting for Jimmy to get used to the sensation.

“I’m okay. More please, I need you to move,” Jimmy pleaded.

“Not until you open your eyes,” Chazz responded.

So Jimmy opened his eyes and he thought he could cum just from the sight of Chazz all flushed and wanting, but holding himself back to make sure his ‘new’ partner enjoyed it just as much. “Okay, I’m watching. Now move!”

The desperate tone to Jimmy’s voice snapped any of his remaining control, and Chazz pulled back then slammed his hips forward with a groan of pleasure. Jimmy responded with a wanton cry of his own, and the next few minutes were a haze of friction, heat, and sound as both men gave themselves over to the sheer joy of their shared pleasure.

“God Jimmy, I can’t wait, I have to…”

“Yes,” Jimmy hissed as he wrapped a fist around his own cock and began moving it quickly. “Yes, now…Chazz, come for me now!”

Chazz screamed his name like it was a desperate prayer as he came in quick, shallow thrusts and Jimmy followed him into his own violent release. After a few seconds Chazz pulled out slowly then turned Jimmy around to face him. “So…are you gonna remember me?” Chazz asked, leaning his forehead against Jimmy’s.

“You don’t actually think that after that you’re getting rid of me, do you? I might just follow you home,” Jimmy said in a teasing voice.

“Is that a promise?”

“Absolutely.” Jimmy kissed Chazz languidly, still in a sex-haze. “How did anyone ever let you go?”

“Oh, are we us again?” Chazz asked.

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

“Well then, I think the answer is that I never found anyone who I wanted to stick around before. Or maybe you’re just more stubborn than anyone I’ve ever met, and you have a high tolerance for my bullshit. Or, everyone else was sane.”

“You’re such an ass, why do I love you again?” Jimmy asked as he smacked Chazz playfully then began gathering up his clothes.

“Because I’m willing to act out sexual fantasies in a carnival, when clowns freak me the hell out?” Chazz suggested as he took off the condom and looked around for a few seconds, then shrugged and threw it behind a mirror.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Although, this isn’t a strange as half the stuff you ask me to do! Sex in a confessional, what was that all about?”

“Come on MacElroy, you know you liked it. You can’t fool me anymore; I’m wise to your seduction by way of making me think I’m doing the seducing, routine.” Chazz gave Jimmy a pointed look as he pulled on his pants.

“How do you know I’m not just making you think that’s what I’m doing?” Jimmy winked at Chazz then took off through another spinning tunnel, giggling like he hadn’t just had wild sex in a taboo location.

Chazz was left staring after him yet again, and wondering just what he had done right in a past life to get so damned lucky.

Oh my god, a real life post!

2007-05-24T17:12:52Z

So, I have realized that it is weird to have a journal that contains nothing but fiction, because its sort of like the author doesn't really exist. But I do exist, I swear! Currently, I exist between two places that I don't really live...because I am supposed to be moving into a house with my friend, but the house isn't built on time and I had to move out of my sister's place since she got married. Therefore, I am bouncing between my sister's house and my friend's parents' house for the next few weeks until the new house is ready. It's annoying as hell, especially since it means I can't be up on the internet late anymore because I have a desk top and can't bring it to my friend's parents' house.

I have to go back to my sister's house in the daytime, when I'm not working, to work on my story. I am typing on my friend's laptop since she is at work and I'm off, and I'm hoping to God she doesn't figure out what I'm doing on her computer because any hint of anything gay squicks the hell out of her and she'd freak if she discovers my favorite pastime is reading or writing slash fanfiction. Although, it has occured to me that she is going to have to find out at some point because when I live with her, she'll sort of wonder what I'm up to on the internet all the time...has anyone ever been de-friended for being into slash, I wonder? I'm thinking it's a definite possibility with her...or, she'll just start praying for my soul and trying to get my back to God. I don't think I'm away from God, but I don't think we believe in the same one- my God likes gay people just the way they are, seeing as he created them that way, that's what I think.

So...other stuff about me, I'm working at a group home and just got finished teaching British Lit. to a homeschool group. I'm trying to find a job as an esthetician, although not very hard because I am the world's biggest procrastinator and even though I love change I dislike instigating it...I am a walking irony.

Inescapable plot bunny!

2007-04-12T04:15:36Z

Now, to introduce myself a bit. I am intrigued the whole subculture of fandoms, communities become outlets for all that people generally try to conceal from the world at large- our inner obsessive, and lets be honest here, pervy, tendencies- which is very cool and liberating! Okay, I’m off my soap box now. I have an idea for a Jimmy/Katie/Chazz story that would be quite long and have a plot line running from right after the movie ends until…maybe a year later? Starting PG and slowly transitioning to NC-17. But before I write it, I want to be sure people would want to read it- are threesomes too squicky (holds breath and blushes, waiting for an answer)?

Okay, here are my thoughts regarding where this trio could end up. Now that Katie is likely disowned from her siblings, and they are going to be out of the picture in jail regardless, she will want somewhere to live. I don’t imagine the old house has many positive memories for her. Jimmy and Chazz also need somewhere to live, because they were only in that house temporarily. It would make sense for them to move in together- likely an apartment in Denver with 3 bedrooms. Chazz would want his space, and I don’t think Jimmy and Katie are ready to share a room all the time- they are quite obviously both virgins, and I think they would move a bit slowly when it comes to sexual things, especially since they are both inexperienced and probably insecure- think about your first relationship, it’s very nervous and tenuous at first.

Because of this insecurity, I think they would each go to Chazz for advice on sexual things, since he is obviously the expert- but I don’t think they would let each other know much about this advice at first, because they would want to please each other and seem like they know what they are doing when it comes to sexual things; even though Jimmy did say Chazz “taught him a few things.” I think Chazz would give great advice when it comes to sex- but he would respect their wishes for him to keep quiet about the lessons. But by his teaching each of them about sex, he would be teaching them exactly what he likes, even if it wasn’t done on purpose- he would be molding the pair into his ideal partners.

I think Jimmy and Katie would be truly in love- Chazz would just learn to love her as a friend first. I don’t think he has ever been around one woman for long enough to experience really loving a woman before, but once he got used to it I think he would like the stability and type of passion it can create. I think Jimmy will turn into a very touchy-feely person now that he as learned to allow people into his personal space, so the men’s gradual closeness will come from that- I can see him laying in Chazz’s lap to watch a movie, etc. and genuinely being innocent to any sexual connotation that action has. Chazz, the more innately sexual being, will realize his desire for Jimmy first. I don’t think either of the men is gay- they would both just love Katie at first, and want her sexually, but them being attracted to each other would come more slowly because it is foreign to them. Even though I love reading pwp slashiness, I don’t think it is too realistic for them at the point the movie ends, if I’m going for believability.

Katie is already attracted to Jimmy, and Chazz is attracted to her- and I’m sure it would be hard to live with Chazz and not want him, and he would probably be endearing in his odd sort of way, leading to an emotional attraction as well. I don’t want to spoil how I would create the trio’s developing sexual relationship or how it would end, although I do have it all planned. So… I know that was super long, sorry! But, any suggestions, etc.? Would you follow this story? (Bites nails nervously)

Sort of first entry!

2007-04-11T18:12:13Z

So I created this journal a few years ago, when I was stuck sitting around for months with a broken ankle. During that time I discovered the amazing world of fan fiction, and I was planning on joining groups and commenting, and doing some stories myself...but I didn't. I made a few random entries, but I deleted them to start fresh. I have been guilty of being a lurker, so I am asking an apology of the entire subculture- I will do better, I promise!!! (hides face in shame, but can't resist peeking between fingers to check for the proverbial thumbs up or down from the coliseum crowd) However, I'm totally LJ and computer illiterate so I will have to go through some tutorials to figure out how to post stories behind cuts and things. I have an idea for a long story involving Jimmy, Katie, and Chazz- eventual threesome pairing, but I really think I can make it work logically. So, I will ask suggestions of the community- but I think I need a separate post so this whole intro doesn't end up in the community page.